Marriage Customs
Courtship and betrothal of the old days are different from nowadays. A man could not directly court a lady without the parents consent. When a young man fell in love with a lady, he had to tell his parents and if they liked her, the parents made a visit to her father and mother. It was often a ceremonial call and done mostly during night when every member of the family was at home. They talked about other things before the purpose of their call was touched. The mother of the man passed to the mother of the girl a piece of money. Everything depended upon this. If the gift was accepted, the proposal was then accepted too. The happy lover who had been waiting all this time outside was called in, while the mother of the girl sent for drink and bottles.
The next day, the lover visited the parents of the woman, who called all the other relatives to see him. The man was put under probation for two or three years. During all this time, he had to spend most of his time serving and working in the house of his fiancee as a member of the family. In this period, if something undesirable or unexpected is noticed, he must leave and bid farewell to his hopes. Sometimes if nothing was discovered the father of the girl tried to invent one in order to free him and to be profited by a new wooer. If it happened that the girl loved the boy, they eloped, but if she didn’t like him she felt happy when he was sent away. The parents sometimes did not ask the opinion of the girl on the matter. Whether she liked or not the man, she had to obey her mother and father. However, if everything went on prosperously with the engagement, the formal betrothal might come in two years, and was a prodigious affair. Before the wedding, all the relatives of both sides are told about it. Some of them, with the man’s parents, went to the bride’s house and talked about the dowry, the marriage portion and the feasting of there was one. When they came to an agreement, they called the bride and groom and were then finally engaged to be married within a few weeks.
This has not always been the case. There are some elopements which resulted from the dislike of the girl’s parents to the boy or the boy’s parents to the girl. There were some engagements done secretly and when they could not asked the parents’ consent they eloped and went to the justice of the peace to be married. A man or woman who was being forced to marry one whom he or she did not like eloped with some other. Four weeks before the wedding day, the priest to marry them is informed and every Sunday during mass a man announces the coming wedding. This is done for three weeks (every Sunday) so that if there is any complaint coming up, it can be settled at once. If there are any inconveniences or each party found by some other persons, they may bring out the problem to be settled.
The couple should have confession and communion before they can be married. This procedure is also observed today. The dowries to the bride might consist of jewels, money or other property. A woman could not be given to a man as a wife unless her parents saw the dowries. In the feast, the mother and father and other relatives of the man were responsible. Relatives of both parties helped.